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The Jokes & Fun Stuff thread part 2 ...

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minesapasty
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Location: Home, where they make proper pasties.

PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 16:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

DawnH wrote:
you been reading Kylecollie's diary again Stu???? Laughing  Laughing  Laughing  Laughing


That can't be Kylies diary, if it was, a lot of artistic licence has been applied............ there are far too many long words without spelling mistakes for Ritchie to have written that Laughing  Laughing
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 16:28    Post subject: Google Ads keep the POCUK free to join!


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Stu C
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 10:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

He laid her on the table,
So white and clean and bare.

His forehead wet with beads of sweat,
He rubbed her here and there.

He touched her neck and then her breast,
And then he felt her thigh.

The slit was wet and all was set,
He gave a joyous cry.

The hole was wide -- he looked inside,
All was dark and murky.

He rubbed his hands and stretched out his arms, ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...And then he stuffed the turkey.
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kylecollie
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 14:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stu C wrote:
He laid her on the table,
So white and clean and bare.

His forehead wet with beads of sweat,
He rubbed her here and there.

He touched her neck and then her breast,
And then he felt her thigh.

The slit was wet and all was set,
He gave a joyous cry.

The hole was wide -- he looked inside,
All was dark and murky.

He rubbed his hands and stretched out his arms, ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...And then he stuffed the turkey.
   Shocked  thank god for that.....thought your wife sue had blabbed about us Twisted Evil
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Paul83c
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 0:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

Three guys who were lost at sea ended up landing on an unfamiliar island.

After wandering around for a while, a group of natives picked them up and took them to their hut.

The chief came up to them and said, "We will let you live,
if you can go out into the jungle and bring me 10 pieces of fruit."

So the men agree and take off. The first guy brings back 10 apples and places them before the chief.

"Now, you must stick the apples up your backside and not show a bit of emotion, or else we will kill you."

The guy got one, and on the second, he flinched and was killed.

The second guy walks up and shows the chief 10 berries.

He is given the same task and makes it up to 8 and then begins to laugh histerically, He is also killed.

When the second guy gets to heaven and meets up with the first, the first asks him
"You almost had it! Why did you laugh??"



























The second replies, "I couldn't help it. I got the 8th up there and saw the other guy walking up with pineapples."




These three underage girls (blonde, brunette and redhead) walk into a bar.

A cop walks in and recognizes them and knows they were all underage. As he approached the girls, they all bolted.

They ran into an alley where there were three trash bags, with the cop coming, they quickly hid in the bags.

The officer comes looking and kicks the first bag (where the brunette was) and she says "meow"
and the officer says "oh it's just a stupid cat".

Then he kicks the next bag (where the redhead girl was) and she says "woof woof" and the officer says
"it's only a stupid alley dog".

Then he kicks the last bag (where the blonde is hiding) and she says























"potato's potato's."
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mimauk
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 8:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.

After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

 "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.







Because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Bah Humbug !!!!!   Laughing  Laughing  Laughing
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REVOGEL
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 11:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

THIS IS ANCIENT BUT SOME OF THE YOUNGER ONES OF YOU MAY NOT HAVE HEARD IT.
Sorry didn't mean to shout Embarassed  Laughing
An inmate escaped from an assylum, broke into a Chinese laundry , raped the women, and ran away.
"HEADLINE" the following day.

.
.
.
<NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS>
Thought the spanneretes among you might like it
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REVOGEL
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

Used to rib my late Ma in Law Who was an M & B Fanatic, That it was pure pornography, Seems from that I was right all the time  Shocked  Rolling Eyes  Laughing
[EDIT]  Embarassed just read a couple of back pages. [Bet some of you take a look  Shocked  Laughing ]
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REVOGEL
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Age: 78
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Joined: 23 Dec 2006
Posts: 4276
Location: Cent. Amelias. Reg 10. Guyana South America

PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok another old one. How does an Essex Girl turn her bedroom light off??

She shuts the door of her Cabriolet.  Confused  Sad  Wink
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