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The Jokes & Fun Stuff thread part 1 ...

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lindylou
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 18:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

earthmover wrote:
lindylou wrote:
earthmover wrote:
http://i358.photobucket.com/albums/oo27/Topblade/D8L.jpg?t=1223891146

Hiya Mate yes I was there and the pic was taken early December '84 but before I had a scanner I took a pic of the pic with my new Christmas pressy which was a digi camera. but didn't switch off the date stamp. I don't drive the rubber tyred "Donkey Carts" no skill needed.


Know what you mean about the "donkey carts" Laughing  Laughing was some great characters down there! had some good laughs.
Rick.


Would any of the "Characters" Include the chambermaids known as "Kelvins Kittens" who I believe made a considerable amount of money working "Overtime" I worked for Wimpey (We Import More Paddys Every Year) and had a visit to our camp from one of these "Beautiful women" who was nicknamed The D9. (I'm not saying she was large,she was only 5ft tall, but she used to stand nr the ice rink so the sun never shone on it) One of Wimpey's lads thought he would try his luck, and boy she was willing,(she said she had a good memory but it didn't go that far back,) but after three hours, yes three hours he had to give up he said he couldn't reach where the sun didn't shine. lol Laughing  Laughing




Certainly do remember the D9 Laughing  Laughing not only was she big, but she also fell out of the "Ugly" tree and hit every branch on the way down!! Laughing  Laughing  mmmmm  Confused   "Kelvin catering" that was something wasnt it? Rolling Eyes  Laughing
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 18:29    Post subject: Google Ads keep the POCUK free to join!


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earthmover
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 22:56    Post subject: Falklands Reply with quote

Yes that was something else there. you have to go there to realise that Uranus is not just a planet. I saw blokes queueing for up to 8 hours to phone home at Xmas, and "Big rough tough construction workers huh" come out of the phone box crying about their kids at home. Shouldn't have gone if they couldn't hack it. We used to go to Kelvins canteen Saturday nights because they had steak every week, we had it once a month, I'm sure you could see where the saddle had been on it (or the milkman 's cart harness).
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lindylou
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 12:08    Post subject: Re: Falklands Reply with quote

earthmover wrote:
Yes that was something else there. you have to go there to realise that Uranus is not just a planet. I saw blokes queueing for up to 8 hours to phone home at Xmas, and "Big rough tough construction workers huh" come out of the phone box crying about their kids at home. Shouldn't have gone if they couldn't hack it. We used to go to Kelvins canteen Saturday nights because they had steak every week, we had it once a month, I'm sure you could see where the saddle had been on it (or the milkman 's cart harness) was on it.


Yep its all flooding back now!!  seem to remember having to que for everything!!  shop, mail, laundry, phone breakfast dinner tea Rolling Eyes  Laughing



 Sorry everyone! jokes will resume soon Laughing  Laughing Being on the falklands in those early days of building "maggies" new airfield was an unforgettable experience Shocked  Shocked
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earthmover
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 12:29    Post subject: Falklands Reply with quote

Yes I remember as you say queuing up for everything! one thing that old girl "The D9" she'd never be sent home for flogging her cat. she was so fat it was inaccessible! I got injured there so had to come home early, but did get paid the full whack tho.
Did you ever get to "The Globe Hotel" in Port Stanley where the mud was about 2 inches thick on the floor? I don't know if there had been a carpet there sometime.
I took my Yaseu FT 902 (HF transmitter) down with me and a side swiper key, and had made a single feed multi dipole antenna well..... as soon as I hit the key with the call VP8BDC the whole world seemed to crash in on top of me. VP8's (Falkland callsign) didn't have to pass a test to use HF radio as that was their means of communications on 80mtrs and therefore no-one ever heard VP8's on CW (morse) I had the special event stn VP8MPA  for when Mount Pleasant Airfield opened on May 12th I think.
Anyway we'll let all these miseries get back to trying to cheer each other up in these days of depressing financial news, and I'll keep spending  old Gordons pension Brilliant! 3 cars and a caravan, and off to Spain & Gibraltar next week.
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lindylou
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 13:42    Post subject: Reply with quote

First time we went to Stanley it took us 7 hours by land rover! lost count of how many times we got "Bogged" yep went to the "Globe" for a few cans of "Elephant" beer, stopped off at Fitzroy on the way back for a mutton burger or two Laughing  Laughing
In those early days it really was a S**t hole, a god forsaken place, but i kept going back and i finally left in feb 1991! The MPA complex is now fantastic, proper tarmac roads, street lighting, shops, swimming pool.  Looking back  we did a bloody good job out there. Smile  Did you know Eric palmer? (auto electrician )he was also into ham radio down there.
Have a good one in spain and Gib.
Rick.
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nemesis
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 16:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

Two Cornish guys from Porthleven had been having a night out on the piss in Penzance.

They stayed a bit longer than expected and missed the last bus home.

So they decided to go along to the bus depot and steal a bus to get back to Porthleven.

One said he would stand guard outside while his mate went in the garage to nick a bus.

After about half an hour outside, listening to his mate manoeuvring buses around inside, he went in to see what was going on.

"What the hell are you doing Jan?" he asks, "you've been *beeb* about in here for half an hour now!"

"I can't help it," says Jan, "the *beeb* bus to Porthleven is right at the back!"
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earthmover
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 21:43    Post subject: Pikeys Reply with quote

40 Gypsies arrive at the Pearly Gates in their Transit vans and caravans.

St Peter goes into the gatehouse and phones up God, saying. 'I've got 40 travellers here. Can I let them in?'

God says 'We are over quota on Pikeys . Go out and tell them to choose between them which are the 12 most worthy, and I will let just  the dozen in.'

Less than a minute later St Peter is on the phone to God again. 'They've gone', he tells God.

'What?' says God, 'All 40 of them?'

'No, the f***ing gates'.
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earthmover
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 22:41    Post subject: Clean underwear is a MUST! Reply with quote

Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle. From the Daily News comes this story of a Walsall couple who drove their car to Asda, only to have their car break down in the car park. The husband told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car.


On closer inspection, she saw a pair of hairy legs protruding from under the chassis. Unfortunately, although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned his private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, dutifully and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the bonnet and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.


The RAC mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
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lindylou
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 10:24    Post subject: Mens rules Reply with quote

At last a man has taken the time to write this all down




We always hear
'the rules'
From the female side
Now here are the rules from the male side




These are our rules!
Please note... they are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as cars or football.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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earthmover
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 12:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

It was entertainment night at the Old Folks Home.

Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: 'I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. 'I want each  one of you to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special  watch. It's been in my family for six generations.' He began to swing the  watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting:

'Watch the watch, watch the watch, and watch the watch...'

The crowd became mesmerised as the watch swayed back and forth, light  gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the  swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's finger and  fell to the floor, shattering into a hundred pieces.

'SH*T!' said the Hypnotist.

... It took three days to clean up the mess at the Old Folks Home!!!
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rallymarshall
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 21:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

how do scotmen find sheep in long grass?


very appealing  Laughing
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wiggletiger
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 16:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

The University of Cornwall has announced it is reducing the length of its degree courses from four years to three.

The reason being that most tractors now come with automatic transmissions.
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earthmover
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 22:33    Post subject: University Reply with quote

That was nasty but good!
Laughing  Laughing  Laughing  Laughing
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PoCUK
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 10:36    Post subject: The new jokes & fun stuff thread ... Reply with quote

The Jokes thread is dead - long live the jokes thread!

Seriously folks ...

After uncovering an issue with VERY long threads on the forums, this thread is being added to the 'archives' ...

The NEW Jokes & Fun Stuff thread is HERE <-- Click to link

Simon Smile
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